The Story of Jesse's Life as it applies to Saltines

Jesse likes Saltine crackers.

He likes them all the time.

He likes them with butter....or in tomato soup...

I HATE THAT HE LIKES SALTINE CRACKERS.

You ask why?

They just bother me...With my limited food storage space, and my lack of love for these salty cracker specimens, I don't see the point in purchasing them...but he insists.

Recently, I was feeling a little crazy...blame it on my postpartum state.

I was trying to arrange some of the food items on the storage shelf and the Saltine box fell onto the floor, releasing the sleeves of crackers in different directions like a bunch of springs.

I was so sincerely bothered by this that I looked at Jesse, and shouted my displeasure (because all rational beings shout). Then I looked at the cracker sleeves on the floor for a long time...long enough to make a decision.

I lifted my foot and stomped one of the cracker sleeves.

It was over-the-top crazy drama. I can admit this.

But stomping the crackers to crumbs felt SO satisfying!

Those crackers got what had been coming to them since that first day at the grocery store when Moses refused to put the crackers back on the shelf.

And what happened to these cracker crumbs? Remember how Jesse likes them with Tomato Soup? I was merely saving him some time.

See, I'm helpful. Not crazy.