Discursive

Not a whole lot is happening around here.

Jesse studies and/or works. All.Day.Every.Day. The man has no life...except the one that involves his kid Ollie...

...who continues to grow, eat, cry, and pee on people who aren't smart enough to strap that diaper on STAT (me)...and we're working on laughing (So far an Ollie laugh consists of these funny little grunts accompanied by HUGE smiles). He does his jobs well...Makes his mother proud...

...oh yes, ME! I spend every day hanging with Oliver J, working (if you could call it that) in the Housing Office, wishing I could eat some ice cream, and being atrociously lazy at home. Which isn't doing much for me, but I've lost motivation for just about everything.

I think if I could use one word to describe my feelings on life right now it would be:

"Discontented"

but if I wasn't in denial, I would really call it

"Depressed"

Which is crazy right? Because I just had a baby and everything is supposed to be perfect right?

No. I don't think it's crazy. I'm pretty sure it's normal.

I think I'm just missing that constant state of anticipation that pregnancy provided...I think maybe I was a little bit addicted to it...you know, that feeling of always having something to look forward to...not just a little something...A HUGE something.

Now all I get to look forward to is Jesse studying, Oliver growing out of baby-ness, and me being unmotivated.

And now we've come full circle.

So I guess tomorrow I get up, go about my day, and find something to be excited about.

I'll have to let you know what that is when I figure it out.

Until then, please enjoy this picture of my miniature human: