This beautiful new song made me think back to when Jesse and I were dating.
I loved that man from the moment I saw that crooked smile...However, I couldn't tell him that. We had talked about the "L" word before and he said, "I won't just say it back if you say if first. I want to mean it." So I decided to wait...wait until I was sure that it was the word I wanted to use to describe my feelings, and until I thought maybe I had a chance of hearing it back soon. It didn't take long for me to know again that I did honestly love this man and it was so hard to keep it to myself, but I held true to my promise...
"I love you but I'm going to keep quiet about it. I love you but I'm keeping my mouth shut about it"
...It was like this for me until one day in early April...I couldn't keep it in anymore. It threatened to pop out every second I was with him. We couldn't have that! If I was going to say it, then it was going to be a composed thought, not a reckless form of word vomit.
That night while he was half asleep and it was about time for me to go home I whispered close to his ear "I love you" and he hugged me tight. I was so relieved.
The next day he said it back. I suppose the rest is history and I'm so grateful to not have to hear "Loke" ever again.
Jaymay. "Snow White." Lyrics. Jaymay and Kayoko. Indie, 2006
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