An Angle in Ambivalence

Earlier this afternoon Oliver J. followed a dusty pile of cereal, which had previously been discarded from the high chair tray by clumsy fingers, on his hands and knees as I pushed it around the kitchen floor with the broom. It was a cut throat game of cat and mouse. Two constructive swipes of the broom and then a defensive stroke to move the pile away from the Oliver baby who was effectively stalking his cheerio prey.

I didn't mind that my chores were taking 3 times longer to complete than usual. I'm just so glad that I didn't miss the moment because I was in a hurry or out of the house.

May will be here quicker than I know it, and I will be called away by school and possibly even work. I'm looking forward to it all and I know that these actions will help my family to be successful. I know how much I've regretted the time I wasted in the past and how often I prayed that I would have another chance to complete my education. I watched all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place within a week of our decision to move to Cedar City so that my Bachelor's degree could be pursued while we wait for other facets of our lives to pan out. I truly believe that a way was prepared. 

Nevertheless, sometimes, when I ponder the small but memorable daily Ollie triumphs I will miss and the quiet moments with my baby that I stand to lose, my resolve weakens just a little. 

 Photos by Bree