We let Oliver help around the house when he wants to.
Let him think work is a game, maybe even a little bit fun?
I'm sure he'll find out the hard truth about chores one day, but we'll let him live in innocence for just a while longer...
But not too much longer. After all, I'm not in the business of having babies just for the sweet, cuddly meatloaf you get in the beginning!
I have bigger dreams! I want the by-product of babies.
No, not mountains of human excrement, don't be silly!
You know what I'm talking about.
That's the real miracle of motherhood!
*cue maniacal laughter*
Now that you know my truest intentions, I'll bow out gracefully, and leave you with a step-by-step tutorial by Oliver: indentured servant in training:
HOW TO UNLOAD THE SILVERWARE BASKET
Start with a nice, big, blurry handful.
If you drop one, don't worry. Just pick it right back up. No one will notice.
But be sure you put that one in first...just in case the parental unit catches on - they'll never be able to tell it apart from the rest of the clean utensils.
Now, you put them in the tray one at a time.
Spoons with the spoons! Forks with the forks! Watch for varying sizes! Man those kids are tricky.
Oh what the hey, just toss em all in. When you're two, you don't have time to care.
Now shuffle em around a bit... make it look like you tried.
Step back and admire your handiwork.
Now run off quick, lest they think you actually had fun.