The other night, Jesse and I started the process of trying to convince Oliver J. to give up the binkie, which has only been used at bedtime and naptime since we lived in Idaho.
"Why don't you let us take your binkie tonight. I bet you could sleep without it."
We said.
"No,"
was the reply.
"But look, Oliver, you have all these bedtime friends in your bed. Mickey doesn't need a binkie. You don't either. Why don't you try a night without it?"
"No," again.
"Binkies are for babies. You are not a baby. You don't need a binkie."
"NO!"
Then Jesse, the genius that he is, suggested,
"Big boys don't need binkies. Why don't you try being a big boy tonight and sleep without your binkie."
"OK! I be a big boy!"
Oliver said as he plopped the binkie into Jesse's hand.
I wasn't sure how I felt about this...
Do we really have a "Big Boy?" I thought.
Ollie gave us each a squeeze and kiss, and snuggled into bed.
As I flipped Ollie's tape (yeah, we're cool like that), I looked over at my sweet boy, laying back on his pillow and rubbing his hair, something happened that I'm not proud of.
I had a moment of weakness.
I tried to suppress it, but the words just spilled out...
"Ollie, please ask Dad for your binkie back," I said. "I'm not ready to have a big boy. There are no big boys in our house. Only babies."
Jesse gave me a funny look and laughed as he surrendered the binkie back to Oliver.
Finally, all was right with the world and we left Oliver J. as Snugalove songs filled the room.
Since that night, I've done better.
I came up with other excuses for not having a binkie.
Excuses that have nothing to do with the fact that my son is no longer a baby, and hardly even seems like a toddler anymore.
Excuses like, "it's in the dishwasher," or "I can't find it."
But I'm not sure how serious I am about the business of giving up binkies as I have since found that there is a direct correlation between naptime and binkies....
When the binkie is available, Ollie will sleep for three hours. When there is no binkie, Ollie gets out of bed and plays for a half hour and then lets himself out of his room saying "I try to wake up, Mommy"
And I'm not about to give up naptime.